I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
