No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Can I color on your dick again?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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