New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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