Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
