BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
