Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
