I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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