Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
