Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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