fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
