I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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