I think scott just propositioned me for sex
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
