I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
