U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
