so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
