come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
