Sry I called you an 8
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
