At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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