When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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