Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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