there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize