Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
