Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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