and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
