dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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