Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
