Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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