Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
