he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
