I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
