I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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