The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
