i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
