Little spoons don't ask big questions
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
