I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
