its not stalking. its research.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
