We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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