On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
