Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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