I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
