i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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