Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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