I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My life is pants optional.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize