But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
