So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
