I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
