Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
