Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
