Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
