Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if only i could text you this smell
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
