i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Let's paint friendship bongs
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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