You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Shame is for Republicans.
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