Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
