Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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