You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
