one might say we're banned from that church
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
