If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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