yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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