saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
