He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize