he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
