Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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