She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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