omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
