that's an acceptable place to lick
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
