He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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