Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i came on her dog
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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