WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We are all done wearing pants today
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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