somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
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