why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
