So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
