how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
