Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
