I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
