1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
where are you?
Hypothermia
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
