I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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